I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
