but the lizard people decide everything anyway
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
