new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
