Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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