I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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