She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
