CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
