So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
