you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
