Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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