come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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