god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
