she was so not down for the gang bang
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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