Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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