i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
