I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
