I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
