meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
