Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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