Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
