I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize