I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So much Jack, so little girl.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
