He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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