Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
