Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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