Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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