plz talk dirty to me
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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