Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
