Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
