i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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