but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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