Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
