Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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