i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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