I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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