I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
