watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
