i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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