So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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