This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
