You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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