I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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