adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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