you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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