it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
