Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
