Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
