please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
