Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i now understand why vodka
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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