I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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