I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
