i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize