if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize