I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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