Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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