I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
