hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
