My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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